


Anger Issues [unedited]

by Jammy



Category: Neopets
Genre: Angst, Illness, M/M, Mental Illness, Pain, Violence, just literal pain, sorta - Freeform, suicide mentioned, vent art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 05:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10937790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jammy/pseuds/Jammy
Summary: It's been over a month since the accident happened, and Jenner is convincing everyone that he's getting better. So much so that Nickolas and Cathal had asked for him and Kanrik to stay, for family time.But after coming home something happens that makes Cathal excuse himself and retreat into the garage, what happened? Everything was going so well...at least, that's what he tried to play off.[Modern!AU]





	Anger Issues [unedited]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [t3f3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/t3f3r/gifts), [werelupewoods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/werelupewoods/gifts).



> //throws hands all over the place//
> 
> I MADE MYSELF SAD!! 
> 
> It takes place after Em's wonderful story: "What the papers say" and honestly I just--got no damn clue what the hell is going on I just couldn't stop writing and now we have this shit, sorry. Sorta "canon" but not really, Cathal has his spirals of doubt when he and Nickolas were getting ready for Bonnie and a bunch of drama happened to his other daughters around the same time. 
> 
> Around the time that Bonnie is born he found out he had a son and it really--uh--made him panic pretty bad. But since this is a modern-day thing I don't think he'd freak out so much because he would've been more in contact with his friend [Oliver's mother] and they knew the consequences of having unprotected sex, y'know, all that jazz. 
> 
> But unfortunately Oliver does get into fights a lot, he's his father's son after all. 
> 
> ~~Also I would like to add that the anger that Cathal has is always geared towards himself, he can never be upset at his children, his family or friends. He has a ton of self-degrading, uh, thoughts.~~
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, enough about this, here's wonderwall.
> 
> \-- -- -- --

“Jenner, can you go get Cathal from the back? Dinner’s almost done.” Nickolas asked about to carry the stack of plates from the counter to the dining room table just outside of the kitchen, but before he can even lift it from it’s spot Kanrik swoops in and grabs the pile of dishes instead. Scolding him that the doctor said not to carry anything heavier than five pounds. “It’s ten pounds, Arlen.” Nickolas said his hand absentmindedly falling to the curve of his large stomach,

 

“ _No_ uncle, it’s _five_. It says so on your brochure.”

 

“Nickolas has a _brochure_?” Jenner finally asks gently pushing himself up from the chair at the table so that he can stand, “The doctors actually give you a brochure based on your baby stuff?”

 

“Just tips, facts and things. And information about our last check-up.” Nickolas insists going back into the kitchen and getting the brochure that’s stuck to the refrigerator with magnets, the folded up paper with a happy looking family on it’s cover was placed right next to an ultrasound picture besides it, a small pink magnet in a shape of a butterfly reading the words: ‘it’s a girl!’ in all glittery text. “But dinner is almost finished, I just want to make sure that he’s not doing something crazy out there—like trying to do a handstand because ‘he can still do it’ even though he almost broke his damn neck.” Kanrik laughs in remembrance and looks over at Jenner while the grey gelert is heading to the doors that open to the patio in the backyard, trying to tell him in between bursts of giggles that they have to tell him the story when he comes back inside. Jenner smiles and nods his head, taking the moment to watch as Kanrik starts to grab the food from the counter and set up the table in place of his uncle beaming with happiness and pride that Jenner is back home with his nephew and that he and Cathal had just found out that morning that they were going to bring a little girl home in a few short weeks.

 

A dark thought attacks his mind again but he pretends that he’s fine, that’s what he’s been doing since he was first administered after all.

 

Anyways, going into the backyard and there isn’t any signs of Cathal in the area. That should’ve been his very first warning...or the second one. When Kanrik had brought Jenner over to their home the Christmas Gelert was all over him, making sure that he ate and drank something the very few moments that he was visiting. He even took it upon himself to show Jenner where he’d be staying in their home so he can ‘sneak’ in a nap, and though he went into bed he didn’t sleep, he just stared at the ceiling and eavesdropped on the family that asked their nephew how Jenner has been, if there was anything they can do to help and the like. Even when he eavesdropped he couldn’t help but be relieved at the crude humor that was coming from Cathal, the large laughter that came from him and the quick yipes he made when Nickolas would [surely] smack him and shush him that Jenner was sleeping. When Kanrik jokes that he’s making Jenner sound like a baby Nickolas sarcastically comments that maybe it’d be good practice, because if the baby ever wakes up then because Cal would have to be the one to put her back to bed.

 

The mention of the baby was what brought Cathal into a long silence, actually, the whole house had turned to silence. It surprised him, he thought for sure that maybe he had fallen asleep on ‘accident’ but he hears Nickolas’ concern as he asks his husband if he’s ok, and he hears Cathal laughing weakly and mentioning that he was ok and he was going to go into the back. Wherever that was. That moment was the first sign that something was not right, and now he was tasked with bringing him back.

 

The garage, he still hasn’t checked that—and a little part of Jenner was hoping that he didn’t get the chance to look in and see what was in there. Knowing Cathal—the only little he knows about him at least—he’s afraid to see some really macabre shit in there. But just like his more positive thoughts, he fakes the confidence as well and he opens the door that led into the garage. What he sees shocks him—not in a way he was expecting though. The inside of the garage looks like a family wreck room of sorts, there’s a pool table, there’s a tv on a lovely wooden stand there, a small snack fridge and a dart board. Off to the corner was where Cathal stood, in front of what looked like to be random pieces of wood and plastic items and hundreds of nuts, bolts and small screws. The Christmas Gelert known for his snarky grin was looking down at the pile of miscellaneous items with such a dark expression Jenner had to double take and make sure that this was Cathal he was looking at. There was what looked like a wrench in his hand and in a moment the heavy metal tool falls from his hand and onto the floor with a loud clang.

 

“Fuck.” Cathal breathes through his teeth and then his shoulders begin to heave with each breath and his hands rush up to his hair and he grabs fistful of his own curls while he shuts his eyes. “Fuck! FUCK! _**FUCK!**_ ” his hands fall and he kicks the small piles of metal and they scatter all across the floor and Jenner freezes in place as a few screws bounce against his shoes, the grey gelert finds himself pressing his back against the concrete walls of the garage and—for his sake—he’s staying silent. For once in a very long while Jenner is feeling...scared. His heart is pounding a mile a minute against his chest as he watches this Christmas Gelert in front of him break pieces of wood against his own hands or across the floor, he feels that if he breathes—or makes any sudden sounds than it would be him, next, that is Cathal’s target of destruction. But as soon as the outburst comes Cathal drops to his knees, and then to his hands, his head and arms resting against the grey concrete floor and his body shakes. “Goddamit Cal….you fucking…no good piece of shit…”

 

Jenner is stunned to the point that he can’t even get his back off of the wall, he’s feeling that whatever he just witnessed wasn’t something that the world had ever seen of Cathal and, well, shouldn’t. He always seemed to be a snarky guy that had a knack of pissing everyone off with crude jokes or an even shittier looking smug grin, he wasn’t this...this man that breaks down, he was strong and positive and forgiving—even if he claims that he can hold grudges for a millennia—and he can tell the stupidest jokes that make Jenner and Kanrik laugh each time. He had the voice that was perfect for an opera or even a choir, he knew how to make anyone feel flustered and he wasn’t afraid of showering his husband with affection. He wasn’t…this man he had seen before him now.

 

Slowly, ever so slowly Cathal began to get back on his knees, he sits down at the foot of all the rubble that laid before him and Jenner hears him sniffle and he sees him shake his head shamefully. “I should’ve just…no. No. Nicko would’ve never forgiven you…goddamit.” he sniffles some more and kicks the wrench that happened to be at his feet further away from him. “I’m sorry kid…guess your ol’ man’s just a shitty father for life…he can’t even make you a goddamn plaything without wanting to fucking kill something.” Jenner gasps finally when the garage door that he had forgotten to close besides him blew open with the strong cold breeze from the outside world, he didn’t know what else to do than to take the much needed few steps over to close it shut and he sees Cathal’s shoulders tense in the change of atmosphere, or rather, the atmosphere that had changed earlier and was finally beginning to realize that he was being watched the whole time. He groans, grabbing his hair with a tight fist and then he forces a strained sounding laugh. “Hooooly shit, and now my fucking nephew’s boyfriend got to see me like this…what a _**great**_ day we’re having.”

 

“Um…” he really doesn’t want to ask, but for the sake of trying to sound normal and not so terrified at what he just witnessed he felt compelled to ask. “…what happened here?”

 

“Tantrum.” Cathal plainly states not even bothering to turn around as he waves a hand in the air with a piece of plastic from the pile of wrecked things and then toss it across the room so it lands somewhere under the pool table. “Just another goddamn fucking tantrum _a la Cal_ , yup.”

 

“Are you--” it might be because he’s still wishing for the sweet embrace of death or other dark things as such that he’s mustering the courage to walk closer towards Cathal, he sees the faint marks that are on the Christmas Gelert’s wrist—they look like teeth marks—and with another in take of nervous breath he finishes. “--are you ok, Cal?”

 

“Yeah.” like uncle like nephew, just like Kanrik of course Cathal wouldn’t admit that something was wrong, they were too prideful for that. That or something was really bothering him and he didn’t want to share it with Jenner, it might’ve been both, he wasn’t sure but it made sense to him. The Grey Gelert takes another breath of air, a slight hesitation then sits down next to Cathal, crossing his legs over themselves and he can clearly see the tears that are streaming down his cheeks. The immense anger that is on his brow and the despair in his eyes, he was feeling a hundred things at once and the only outlet for him was to destroy—destroy whatever it was that this pile of junk used to be, and from the sounds of it, it was a plaything? Cathal makes a side-ways glance to Jenner and then looks down at his lap as he chuckles, “Oh lemme guess, you just wish that you were the one at the end of my wrench don’t you?”

 

_Hell no_

 

It was a horrifying surprise to hear that thought from himself, he had thoughts from over a month ago about him trying to attempt to take his own life. To fake his way into recovery and then try to find a way to succeed, to hear his own thoughts hearing that they had no longer wished for Cathal to harm him was very, very comforting. Another thought comes to him that surprises him, _‘He would never hurt me’_. Jenner looks over at the wood and plastic and makes a soured expression.

 

“And end up looking something like that? I’ll pass on the make-over thanks.” the laugh they shared together was a little more genuine and this time a real smile comes across Cathal’s face, the Christmas Gelert uses the sleeve on his arm to wipe away at the tears because his hands had become splintered during his latest ‘tantrum’. Jenner leans a little forward, hoping that trying to look at him in the eyes might help bring him some sort of solace. “Seriously though…”

 

“Seriously? No fuckin’ shit things are goddamn serious now.” Cathal says looking away and he makes a vague gesture as if he had tossed something back into the pile at their feet. “My eldest daughter is fuckin’ widowed now that the bastard that impregnated her drove off a fucking bridge in _**her**_ car, my youngest’s birth father is trying to land a restraining order on me and get them ‘back’ even though he’s been gone for fucking twenty something years. I got a fucking call from my friend telling me that my son is in the fucking hospital ‘cause some jack-ass pushed him into the pool and he hit his goddamn head. All my kids are no where in reach of me and they need me to be there with them at their most darkest hour, and where am I? In fucking _paradise_! I can’t even take care of the children I have now how the hell is Nicko going to let me take care of this baby Jenner, huh?” Cathal groans again and this time as he brings his hand up to his muzzle this teeth bite down into his knuckles leaving sharp marks, “I’ll tell you what my friend, you mean too much to _**my**_ family to have gone through something like that a month ago. I should’ve been the one dead on the bedroom floor, not you.”

 

“Cathal.” Jenner doesn’t realize that he had the power to reach over and pull the other gelert’s hand away from his teeth until he had finally did it, Cathal looks over at him with surprise and though the anger is still there in his eyes and his presence the Grey Gelert continues to stare him down. “That’s the most obscured thing I have ever heard you say. Nickolas and Kanrik love you—your other children love you just as much as they do, they understand that you can’t be there with them physically. Especially because you have a young one on the way.” he takes a deep breath and finally lets go of Cathal’s arm though the moment he sees him about to move it again Jenner quickly grabs on again, worried that the older Gelert is going to try again to put more marks on himself. “I understand that you want to protect them, you want to take care of them, but beating yourself up over something like this isn’t—it isn’t healthy.” Jenner looks back to the broken property and he gets an epiphany of sorts when he came to look at it some more, he sighs, “Look let’s just—let’s just think, and talk, we’ll figure something out…your son, he’s in the hospital? What can you tell me about that?”

 

“I dunno...some punk pushed him into the pool at some party.” Cathal manages to mutter and he pulls his arm but it was all in vain, Jenner didn’t bother to let go and from the looks of it he didn’t plan on it. “His mother called me saying that he got administered in sometime yesterday morning, they were going to take x-rays of his brain and make sure there wasn’t any hemorrhaging or anything.”

 

“Ok, we’re getting somewhere.” Jenner whispers and he taps gently against the Christmas Gelert’s toned arm, “Those x-rays should be finished now, did you call her back afterwards? Or ask her to text you if anything improves?”

 

“I told her to text or call me in case of anything, she’s given me little updates here and there about doctors asking her about Oliver’s medication, what he takes and how much and asking if blood clot issues and heart attacks run in the family. Telling me that the docs told her that Oliver’s breathing on his own and swallowing, that sort of thing.”

 

“Great, that’s good to hear, you guys are on the same page it seems like.” Jenner said a little more optimistic, he’s starting to feel grateful at the fact that he had read so many ‘how are you feeling’ cards and little useless looking worksheets the hospital has given him during his stay. He had a clear idea how to turn this moment around into a newer and brighter direction. “And your daughters, they’re living together still right?”

 

“Yeah, just on the other side of Haunted Woods. Their uncle is a good friend of mine and he told me that he’d be keeping an eye on them for the time being, he’s already had a restraining order on Kaiden so he won’t be able to get on his property and bug them….”

 

“And.” Jenner begins with a bigger grin on his face as he nudges Cathal’s arm, “You’re going to be a grandfather soon, _**and**_ a father—that’s exciting. I would be bloody ecstatic at the mere thought of being a father, let alone a damn grandfather.” the older gelert laughs a little more and shakes his head again, though instead of shame it’s more of a modest gesture.

 

“I couldn’t believe it either, I still can’t. It feels like yesterday that my little Elisabeth was going on her first ballet recital, now she’s all grown up—about to have a baby of her own. Fuck, man.” Cathal chuckles and again he pauses, looking up and down the pile of debris still in front of them and he sighs sadly under a hushed breath. “I’m so sorry…I’m sorry that you had to see me like this, but.” he states looking up at Jenner and the look of his eyes is that of determination, though the Grey Gelert is still gripping to his arm he lifts it and points accusingly at Jenner. “I want you, Jenner, to learn from this.”

 

“To never get in on your bad side?” he decides to joke and though it manages to get a ghost of a chuckle from the other Cathal shakes his head.

 

“No, I want you to learn: we _**will**_ relapse. Guaranteed. But it’s ok, we’re not perfect, we don’t expect you to be ‘cured’ just after one visit to a doctor—or a single glimpse of the white light you want to reach. We want you to get better, we hope that you do, but don’t bring it upon yourself to—to force yourself to get better. Because you will burn out, we know it’s not easy—we might not know specifically how it feels to be in your position but we see you fight, and that’s what encourages us to help you recover.” Jenner’s reaction is that to prove to Cathal that he knows more than he lets on, and though he doesn’t say anything else the other brown colored gelert groans in aggravation and runs his fingers through his hair, “I think...the hardest part of coming home years ago was facing Nicko. Making him believe that I was getting better just so he could spare me those looks of worry whenever I wake up in the morning, or those uncomfortable moments of silence, y’know the ones. Back then I had purposely got up in the morning before he did so I can cook us breakfast and make it look like that I was full of energy, but I was sluggish as all hell by the time that noon came upon us. I withheld myself from crying for so long that I ended up crying in the middle of my daughter’s play—holy shit the reactions I got from the other parents were pretty priceless though, I must admit. No one cries for the Nutcracker y’know.” he chuckles and after another silent moment Cathal leans over to rest a hand on Jenner’s shoulder, “I know somewhat how it’s like, you got your…. _issues_ , and I got mine. And I’m just sorry that you had to see me like this—relapsing, breaking things, but it’s the only burn-out I have that won’t get me to go...” Cathal’s sentence falters and almost as if it was instinct Jenner pipes up that he understands and Cathal didn’t have to tell him everything, just for the sake that he doesn’t get his friend to finish whatever it is he’s still trying to hide and keep from the outside world. He thinks then, just to keep things alright between them, that Cathal keeps whatever he’s hiding a secret still.

 

“So...” Jenner musters, chuckling a little when Cathal answers with a more awkward ‘so’ in return. “Nickolas told me to come get you because dinner was almost finished, is it...ok that you come in and join us?”

 

“I might as well.” Cathal says finally getting up from the floor and he holds a hand up so that he can help Jenner stand up as well, a smile more profound on his face now that he’s starting to feel a little like himself again, “I just have to make sure that you eat something, we can’t have you go into the hospital for neglect.”

 

“Forcing me to eat _**is**_ neglect.”

 

“Oh you’d wish that was true wouldn’t you, you freakin’ misery.” the two share a laugh amongst themselves as they began to leave the garage, though Jenner looks over at the pile of trash and he can’t help but feel…horrible, he was certain that Nickolas had no idea about the playground Cathal had been making for their new child, and now it was nothing but in pieces. He decided then that he would take it upon himself to bring a new backyard toy for his friends and their little darling, it was the least he can do for all that they had done for him. Bringing the book into the hospital though it was _almost_ prohibited, caring deeply for him and letting him stay for the next month or two in their very own home with Kanrik. He loved this family to death—and far long after it, and they had loved him, even if he had caused them so much pain he wishes nothing for them but happiness.

 

“You doing anything tomorrow morning, Cal?”

 

“Not really no, besides cleaning the murder scene in the garage before Nickolas decides to come in here and get something else for the baby’s room.” Cathal answers rubbing the goatee on his chin and he eyes the Grey Gelert curiously who is grinning ear to ear and walking alongside him with a slight spring in his step. “ _Why_?”

 

“No reason, I was just wondering that you, Kanrik and I can go to the market. I’ve been meaning to pick up a few things for some projects your nephew was planning on making for his video blog. I think I need your expertise on something, however.”

 

“Sure.” Cathal says with a growing smile, “Just don’t expect me to let you off the hook if you decide to try running into traffic while we’re out though. Or else I’m bringing the baby leash and tying your ass to it.”

 

“Damn,” Jenner tsks under his breath pretending to look away with a small snap of his fingers, the gesture makes Cathal roar with laughter. “there goes _**that**_ idea, then.”

 

“You’re a fucking delight, Jenner.” Cathal laughs and then he pauses, the grin he flashes over wasn’t the usual shit eating grin he usually shares but more of a smile with relief and kindness. “And you’re a pretty great guy too.”

 

“Thanks Cal, so are you.”


End file.
